Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
if i died would you start the facebook group?
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
