My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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