Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize