Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
