Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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