FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
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