You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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