DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
