i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
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