i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
