i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Randomize
