Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
