I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
