What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
