last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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