All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
