Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
either way he was missing a nipple.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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