they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
