Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
