we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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