Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
