i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
