Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
