I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
it glows. i had to have it.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
