After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize