I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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