I must be too annoying 4 u.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Randomize
