I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I cut my penus on the lid.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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