We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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