I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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