i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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