I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
