Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
she peed on how many people?
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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