I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Randomize
