Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize
