I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Randomize
