Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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