69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
