She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I came so hard my ears popped.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
