I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
