not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
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