You really coming over, don't trick.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Randomize
