it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize