unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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