I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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