Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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