He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
