My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize