My brain says no but my pants say off.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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