Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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