I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize