Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
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