He is such a slut. More and more my type.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
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