PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Randomize