The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
