Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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