Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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