so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize