Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
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